When I Die...

I want to die the way a star does. In a giant, twinkling, fiery explosion. How cool would that be? People would talk about it and take pictures and post them on the internet for a whole week!

Story Time #1

Once upon a time...

There was a teddy bear. It's momma bear came to exact revenge on the man who stuffed her baby boy. After she demolished the little town of Flargnutville, she came to realize that the teddy bear was not her son at all. In fact, it was never a real bear. Ever. So she walked away to take care of the children she did have. Because she's a bear and what restitution can she make for destroying an entire town? None, that's what. 
Then she woke up and remembered she was in a fact a grown human male who just hadn't shaved in a long time.

The End.

Only in country music can they manage to make "rain" rhyme with "thing."

I hate wimpy buttons. Especially on cardigans.

I feel something under my nail, but there's nothing there. Life is hard.

Confession #5:

Sometimes I have multiple thoughts in one day, so I just write them down and save them for a later day when I can't think of anything.

Shadows

Tonight I saw my mom's shadow on the door right next to me, so it looked like it would be my shadow. At the time that I noticed it, she was chewing and therefore so was her shadow. Since it was in the area where my own shadow could be, I automatically thought it was mine. So naturally, since my shadow was chewing and I was not, I began chewing so I could match my shadow.

Luckily no one saw.
So I decided to post it on the internet for any and all to see.

Logic.

Confession #3

I refer to things that are of a higher temperature as "toasty" instead of "hot". It makes me uncomfortable saying "I'm hot" and it makes other people uncomfortable when I say "Are you okay? You look hot." So I say toasty. 

"It's mighty toasty in here, don't you think?"

No one can take that the wrong way.

Confession #2

Hot chocolate will be my ultimate downfall.

Confession #1

 Bananas make me gag. 

Not the thought of them, and not because I don't like them. I love bananas actually, which is why this is so cruel. But if a banana is perfectly ripe, like perfect yellow with no green, no brown, just perfection, when I chew it, it makes me gag. It's just a thing. Quite a terrible thing, actually, but still just a thing.

I love remote controls.

Dang Popcorn Kernels

I hate how drooly I get when I floss my teeth.

Hashtag: Nightlywoes

Is This What Happiness Feels Like?

How does it feel to be a room without a roof?
I would imagine I would feel wet when it rains,
Cold when it snows,
And sweaty when it's hot.

I could imagine it would be nice
When a fall wind rustles your hair,
Or a Spring breeze kisses your cheek.
But what about bugs and leaves?

Wouldn't you become messy,
Having no roof to shelter from debris?
Wouldn't you become itchy
From the constant bugs filtering in?

How would it feel to be a room without a roof?
Would it feel like freedom?
Would it feel like happiness?
Or would it feel like discomfort?

How can I clap my hands
To display my joy
When the qualification
Is to feel like a room without a roof?

I cannot say that I would feel joy
If I was just a room
With no roof for comfort
Or even for company.

So how can I clap along
When I do not know
How it would feel
To be a room without a roof?

Nightly Woes: A Poem

My feet are cold

My bladder full

My eyes grow weary

I'm feeling weak.

I've just come home from work

Dealing with people and their undies.

Some were nice

Others were meanies.

I'm too tired to move.

Too tired to warm my feet

Or to relieve myself.

I just want to sleep.

Too lazy to edit this poem of mine

To actually be a decent poem.

Now I'm feeling hungry.

Why.

Instead of washing my face

Or brushing my teeth

I spend time on a different face,

Of the book kind.

I was feeling bored,

And I wanted to complain,

So enjoy, dear Thoughts readers

My nightly woes.

The End

Just to Start Things Off

Hello people of the internet who happened to find this blog. I'm not the blogger type, but lately I've been having thoughts. And I wanted a place to write them down. And I wanted people to partake in the enjoyment that I have in these thoughts. So the best way for those two to both work would be a blog, I guess. Anywho, I probably never would have gotten around to making this blog if it wasn't for a recent conversation with my very close friend. It went like this:
My Very Close Friend: How are you?
Me: Tired, ready to be done working at Harlot Russe, but other than that I'm good :) How are you?
Very Close Friend: Harlot Russe? Scandalous.
Me: Well when you see everything they sell there, it's hard not to think that people who wear that stuff aren't in training...
Close Friend: Oh snap. You need a twitter so you can post this kind of thing.
Me: I'm thinking of making a blog called "Everyday Thoughts" and writing down the random thoughts I have everyday. Such as: Babies are floppy. Pears are lumpy.
Friend: PLEASE DO THIS
Me: Thank goodness for mirrors. I've been considering this for a while now.
(Continual discussion of begging to do this and how great it'll be)
Me: I'm going to make it right now. Blogspot here I come.

And that was how this blog was born.