When I Die...

I want to die the way a star does. In a giant, twinkling, fiery explosion. How cool would that be? People would talk about it and take pictures and post them on the internet for a whole week!

Story Time #1

Once upon a time...

There was a teddy bear. It's momma bear came to exact revenge on the man who stuffed her baby boy. After she demolished the little town of Flargnutville, she came to realize that the teddy bear was not her son at all. In fact, it was never a real bear. Ever. So she walked away to take care of the children she did have. Because she's a bear and what restitution can she make for destroying an entire town? None, that's what. 
Then she woke up and remembered she was in a fact a grown human male who just hadn't shaved in a long time.

The End.

Only in country music can they manage to make "rain" rhyme with "thing."

I hate wimpy buttons. Especially on cardigans.

I feel something under my nail, but there's nothing there. Life is hard.